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I got this in an email today and cracked up! I think it is awesome and very true. The bottom part to all non-pet owners is brilliant,especially since we just had house guests who expressed some annoyance with my little guys
I am printing that part and hanging it somewhere visible!


The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain
your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in
the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep.. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched
out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails
straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize
space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some
miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door
I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline
attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog
or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.


Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the
front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people..
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
 

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I have seen this one a few times, and it always makes me laugh.
 

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My sentiments exactly!
 

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That was great thanks for that.
 

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I really relate to the statements to non-pet owners. We just had a long-term house guest that never really seemed to understand the concept of indoor dogs. She said she liked dogs, but I think she meant outdoor kennel dogs.

On the dogs versus kids list, whoever wrote #1 has not met my kids. My two beagles eat FAR more than my two kids. In fact, the beagles often eat the kids' food. I wonder what my oldest kid lives on, because I rarely see her eat.

Of course, my kids are still young, and the youngest is still about the same weight as the dogs....

The youngest took notes from the beagles on sleeping in Mom and Dad's bed and has started sneaking into the bed in the middle of the night and sleeping perpendicular to us, with arms over her head. ???
 
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