Our Beagle World Forums banner
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
185 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dunno for a title. thinking either rescue or puppy mill Keep in mind, it's a first draft, so it's a bit rough. suggestions welcome.

I was stranded
With others my age
We were all crammed into a small square
Fed and watered then left alone
Many days passed like this
Twas depressing

The only good thing was the strangers
They'd pick me up and give me hope
But then they'd put me down and walk away

One day
A stranger lady picked me up, gushing
But she put me back down, seeming sad
She talked to a stranger guy
They left

The stranger guy returned
He picked me up
And didn't put me down!
Instead, he tucked me into his coat
And we left that place
Meeting the stranger lady
They didn't take me back
Rather, they took me with them
Now I live happily with them
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
605 Posts
I like the cadence a lot. The only thing I'd change would be the use of the word 'stranger'. You use it a lot, lol. Maybe use other adjectives to describe the people. Like after the line
The only good thing was the strangers, I'd use something else. I dunno know...the quiet lady, she talked to the man beside her, that sort of thing. Otherwise, I really like it!
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Top