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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is a story a fella from one of my carsite told,

My wife told me the other day, that our rescue dog Bella, was stinking and needed her anal glands expressed (squeezed) at the vet, $15.00

Well she was supposed to go today for the appointment and stupid me said, "It cant be that difficult, I'll Google it and see if I can do it." This is the point when you look back in life and wonder what the heck you were thinking, like the time your Uncle Cletus said, "It's awright, it aint loaded."

I looked up the procedure and sure enough it looked pretty easy, it was basically like squeezing a zit, one thumb on each side of the dogs butthole, push up and squeeze. My wife knew it was a gland issue because the poor dog was in constant discomfort and I really felt bad for her.

So, being the cool husband I am I placed some paper towels down and and old dish cloth. The article said some glandular fluid would ooze out and that's it, no biggie.

My wife had the dog's front paws on the couch as she talked to the dog and calmed her down, I sat on the floor and proceeded to do the deed, nothing. I looked at my wife, "Honey, nothing happened, I really think this isnt the problem." She asked me to try again but squeeze harder.

Second round, I squeezed, at first I didnt realize what just happened, kinda like seeing a car accident right in front of you. I remember staring at the paper towel underneath the dog and realizing that it looked as if it had little bits brown chunks like you find in standing water in a pond. The next thing a I realized was that it appeared the paper had been sprayed like from a Windex spray bottle, ALL over the towel.

After that it was a blur, Im not sure if it was the sight of the yellow clear liquid running down my thumb to forearm to elbow or the smell of hot rotting fish that burned my nose. I remember looking at my wife, her face was beat red and laughing with tears streaming down her face, yet I was hearing a little girl scream as if her brother put dog crap in her hair.

Apparently I screamed for about 3 seconds at the pure shock of seeing this fish sauce ooze ALL over my arm, f-wordin website didnt say CRAP about this worse case scenario.

My wife almost hyperventilated when I began to gag, yes, gag. Of course being the stupid "Donkey" I am I looked at the fish sauce running down my arm and you guessed it, put my nose riiiiiiigt next to it and took a whiff.

SWEET MOTHER MARY OF GOD!!!!!

So, I showered, was cleansed of the putrid evil fish sauce of death and the wife says, "Well look at it this way, at least we saved $15.00"

I cleaned it up a bit. Better??
 

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Madison,

You Googled it instead of coming here? I would have warned you and said pay the $15! You got what you deserved! I hope Bella is feeling better.

Keep in mind, because of Murphy I know more "icky" procedures than you would want to know about. My vet taught me a different way. It involves a rubber glove, K-Y jelly, and an index finger. The rest I leave to your imagination. I did it once at the vet's office with the vet right there... NEVER AGAIN! This is a job I leave to the pros.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:Originally posted by Murphy & Summer's Dad:
Madison,

You Googled it instead of coming here? I would have warned you and said pay the $15! You got what you deserved! I hope Bella is feeling better.

Keep in mind, because of Murphy I know more "icky" procedures than you would want to know about. My vet taught me a different way. It involves a rubber glove, K-Y jelly, and an index finger. The rest I leave to your imagination. I did it once at the vet's office with the vet right there... NEVER AGAIN! This is a job I leave to the pros.
Shot naw!! that is a fella's story not mine! lol

Dixie isn't here yet so i don't think i will have to do that anytime in this week! lol

ow yea one more week and Dixie will be here!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Beside i don't think $15 is that much! lol

I an understand taking out the trash then pay someone $15 to do it, but to do this!?!? i think i would pay $30, or buy a radioactive suit with a fresh air supply hooked up, before i tried that!!!
 
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