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He was put to sleep this afternoon and I feel more awful than I thought. It didn't go as I planned because I wanted them to give him a sedative before putting him to sleep so I could have some quiet time with him but the sedative gave him a bad reaction and made him very uneasy, excited and uncomfortably stiff. I feel awful that I decided to give him a sedative and feel terribly guilty. I wanted him feel peaceful before he left. Anyhow I stayed throughout the whole thing and it was the hardest thing I've had to witness. Right now I'm just trying to forgive myself for asking them to give him a sedative since they only gave the final shot which would have been like 2 seconds. I hope he forgives me and doesn't remember any of this when I see him again. I miss him sooo much already.

I just need some support that he won't hold this against me (I know it sounds ridiculous) but I'm just having all kinds of irrational thoughts right now.
 

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Oh I wish I could just give you a big hug. Please don't feel bad about the sedative. You didn't know, and Marco isn't going to hold anything against you. You gave him a loving home, and did everything that you could to keep him comfortable. He will still be waiting for you at the bridge when the time comes for you to meet again.
 

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/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/blush.gif Don't feel that way, he knows that you did everything you could for him. We all know and feel that. You couldn't have predicted that this would be the reaction to the sedative.

little Marco.
 

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Your little Marco is at peace now - no more pain - I know what you're feeling - because I've had to make that decision several times in the past 10 years - it doesn't get any easier! Just know that your baby boy will greet you at the Rainbow Bridge. You did the kindest thing for HIM - he wouldn't have had a good quality of life. I wish I could give you a big hug right now! I know you don't want to hear this - but honestly, the best way to heal is to get another dog - not to replace Marco, each one makes his/her own special place in your heart - when my daughter had to have her Cody PTS several years ago, she said, "I don't EVER want another dog, it hurts too much to lose them" - I waited a couple of months then gave her a beagle puppy for her birthday. She has said so many times that she's so glad she has Buster - he helped her heal. Cody will always live in her heart - as Marco will live in yours. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had "Honey" (lab/shepherd) when I lost my beautiful keeshond, Sasha at the age of 14!

You'll know when you're ready! In the meantime, my heart is with you.
 

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I am so sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. We can only do our best. All of your decisions were made with love for Marco and he will greet you with love someday. I will be thinking of you.
 

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I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I had to put my very special best dog ever to sleep last year - it was so heart wrenching. But as horrible as I felt, and as many times as I second guessed myself afterwards, deep down I knew that I did the best thing for her.

You did the most loving and selfless thing for Marco. Please know that, and please know that he did feel peaceful at the time he needed to. He was lucky to have you as his mom.
 

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I am so so sorry. I am glad it is over for you and Marco. I would have definitely done the same thing as you. When we had our first beloved Beagle put to sleep we had the sedative done too first. I'm sure he didn't know any of it. He is now running happily and healthy and much better off.

You are a brave wonderful person.
 

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/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/shocked.gif You and little Marco have been in my thoughts and prayers all day. Please don't beat yourself up about the sedative - so easy for me to say but I know I would be doing the same. You had no way of knowing what the sedative would do - how Marco would react. When I had my little Oreo PTS a little over a year ago, the vet did the same thing but Oreo was much older than Marco I believe Marco can hear what you are thinking - I truly believe that Marco knows you did what you felt was best for him. And I agree with Glenda - when you are ready, another dog will help you heal. No, another dog will NEVER replace Marco nor should you get a dog just hoping that it will. Rather, I believe that when you get another dog after you have lost one - the new dog is a way to honor the one that was lost. Marco taught you how to love and care about a dog and now you want to continue that love and caring for another.

I wish you were here - I would give you a big hug. You are a wonderful and caring person - when you took Marco to the vet today, you knew what lay ahead but for his sake, not yours, you went through with one of the most difficult choices a doggy mom/dad ever has to make.


Remember, Marco will forever be with you - just look in your heart - little Marco is now your guardian angel - running and playing forever at the Rainbow Bridge - and yes, he will be there to greet you when it is time.
 

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I have been thinking about you and Marco all day. You loved him more than anyone else could of and he knows that. All of the earthly pains are gone now and all he remembers were all the good times you had together and how much you loved him. Just know that you made the right decision, all the right decisions. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

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Believe me, he still loves you.

There a very few words (if any) that might comfort you at this moment. Know that you did everything you could for him. Sometimes the best of intentions do not go as hoped. This is not your fault. Just know that he is no longer in pain and that you did the right thing. Never second guess that. I would have done the same thing. It is the last act of love we can give our little ones, its also the hardest thing we have to do for them.

When you think of him, think of the happy, playful Marco. That is how he should be remembered.
 

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I'm sorry you had to go through that, but you meant well. Please don't beat yourself up about it. It is one of the hardest decisions us humans can make, but it comes down to you didn't know how his quality of life would be?

Dogs don't hold grudges and understand. Picture Marco running free in a nice green pasture with all the others who have gone to the bridge.
 

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Our thoughts are with you as little Marco is watching you from the Bridge.
 

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marco's mum, i agree with all of the above, dont beat yourself up about the sedative, you did what you thought was right at the time and no one could have known the reaction to it. I am also a firm beleiver of getting another one ( when you are ready ), it will never replace Marco, and wont be the same but it will be different. it will help ease the pain and give you something to focus on. He knows you loved him, and always will, no matter what. i am thinking of you, and send a special hug from me and Meggie. x /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/soapbox.gif
 

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Dogs never hold a grudge - it's one of the most amazing things about them.

Right now your Marco is running and romping all over the place, happy and healthy as can be. I'm sure he's very grateful for ALL that you've done for him and the over abundance of love you gave him. He was very very lucky to have you in his short life.

I'm so sorry for what you went through, it made an aweful horrible situation that much worse. You need to grieve whatever way you know how and that is never ridiculous.

/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/sleepy.gif in honor of Marco everyone should go home and give their pet a hug and think about little Marco running happily on the bridge.
 

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I do not post much, but I read BW everyday and I have to tell you that I have thought of nothing else but you and Marco all day and what you must be going through. I am so sorry about your little Marco, and just know that our fur babies forgive us no matter what. And just know that you did what you had to do for your little guy to be happy, and now he is. He is in no pain, he can see, he running an playing and your own little fur angel is watching over you. So please know that our hearts are going out to you right now. So if you ever need anything your friends at BW are here for you.
 

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Do not blame yourself for something over which you had no control. You had no way of knowing that Marco would have a reaction to the sedative. You gave him so much love, and he's now free from pain and running free. Grieving is natural, and the pain will lessen with time. Hugs.
 

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Godspeed, precious Marco.

He knows that you did all that you could for him, with the best of intentions.

He is pain free, healthy and happy and watching over you now that he is at the bridge.

Take care of yourself, and know that we are all here for you.
 

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Sometimes vets give the sedative as a matter of course. When I had to put one of my dogs down a couple years ago, she got a sedative -- which promptly made her vomit all over me, the floor, herself...

I know Phoebe forgives me and is happy, and I know the same is true for Marco.

I am SO sorry, honey /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/cool.gif
 

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I am so, so sorry to hear that little Marco is gone.

I think that the last thing he will remember are your comforting words and being in your arms and hearing your voice.

As Sandy said, you had no control over this...you are guilty of nothing more than loving Marco and giving him that last gift.

~Denise
 
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