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419 Posts
ok..... i gotta tell you. im a great guesser. i can guess any gift wrapped. folks, im just [email protected] good. ok, with my exgirlfriend, there were some things i was good at,but it was best not to exercise it.
gift guessing was the top of her list. but the 3 young boys though it was the coolest thing ever.
i was never wrong. i do mean never too. honestly, the kids looked forward to christmas for an extra reason every year, ricks gift guessing. i must say, they bought me gifts just to try to throw me off too. it was a game we would play. so lets forward to feb. im a fisherman ok. its in my blood plain and simple. so it was about feb 11th one yr. i had called my ex up and told her i was coming over to take the kids fishing."oh no your not" was her reply. i asked "what did i do now".
nothing she said but your valentines present is here and you cant come over. big freakin deal, i said, put it up, were're going fishing.oh man, i shoulda known not to reply like that. so after a few minutes of what sounded like a chain saw buzzing, she calmed down and agreed to bring the kids to me. now my mind was really working over time. "what in the world could she possibly have, that cant be put away,as to where i can come over". it was killin me. so, the first thing out of the kids mouths when she pulled up was, can ya guess it can ya guess it?i honestly had no clue. so there were rules to the game. i could ask if it were made of paper,metal,wood,or plastic. i mean thats fair right. so i asked. before the first word came out of any of the kids mouths, momma had laid out a highly motovational threat to the kids to keep their lips zipped.
all the bribery in the world couldnt undo one of her threats. so over the next day or so, the kids would call and ask me if i had guessed the present yet. again i asked, paper,wood,metal,plastic? no dice this time, they werent talkin. i had remembered a float tube(little tube fishermen get in to float down river to fish with) that i was about to die over, and the salesman promised me a good deal on.
ding ding ding! i was good. thats it i thought. ok, the kids were breaking the rules and not giving the traditional hints(paper,metal,ect) so i was gonna cheat too. i called up the store and asked for the salesman. he remembered me and assured me she came and bought the float tube a few days ago. oh yeah! OH YEAH! i felt guilty for all of about 2 minutes for cheating. so it was late feb 13th, we were at dinner. the kids were all about me guessing my present. it was strange cause they were overly excited about this. so again "paper,metal,wood ect". again no answers. but i already knew what it was and i had to play it off. god that just killed me too. so i tossed them a new question,one that i never have asked before. "if i toss it up in the air, what sound will it make when it hits the ground" i asked?
you blow up a float tube, and it would make a sound kinda like a basket ball hitting the ground, but not as heavy. the kids looked at eachother and just laughed, but wouldnt give in.
momma just had this look on her face like "oh you'll never guess this one". lord knows i just wanted to bust that bubble.ok, its feb14th. i get a call at work, i was told happy valentines day, and that my lunch was gonna be at olive garden.
i was told to tell my boss that i was gonna be a little late coming back from luch too. she promised that i would want to spend some time alone with her. now i gotta tell ya, laurie was the finest looking woman i had ever laid eyes on, and when she got dressed to impress, wow! i was expecting..... well, you know. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif
so i was told to meet her at olive garden, and she wasnt gonna stop unless i was seated at the table. ok i said. so as i walked in olive garden, the girl seated me at a table picked out just for me. so im setting there waiting. i see laurie pull up, look in to see if i was seated or not, then pull in to park. im like dear lord, whats the big deal, just get in here and lets eat.
so here she comes with this big box,balloons,and a camera. big smile on here face too. god lord, now everybody is looking and im kinda shy ok. and she wasnt dressed like i had pictured her to look either. i felt suckered. so she lets out a happy valentines day, puts the big box on the table and jumps back with the camera to her eye. i said laurie, im not opening up a float tube here in the middle of olive garden. 1, its just not the time and place. 2nd everybody is looking big time too. she quickly put her hand on the box and said,"rick, ya gotta open it right now,its important". then it came from every freakin table in view, "open it". oh come on, we want to see too. yadda yadda yadda. not good for a shy person like me ok. so,i said ok laurie after we eat. NO, NOW! ok ok ok. so i picked up this big red box. it was way to lite for a float tube. my mind was blown! i was tricked! these last few days of being excited were in vain! i had been out smarted! that salesman was in on it too! how did she know i was gonna call him! you coulda heard a pin drop in that place. my mind was racing to give it my best guess fast. i had my reputation. ive guessed everything for yrs now. here it was, my reputation on the line and i was out of ideas.
all this in the matter of seconds folks. i was panicing.as i was lifting the lid, an idea rushed into my head so quick it hurt. i spit out my guess as i was pulling the lid away, "ITS A BEAGLE DOG"! there he set,6weeks plus old. had a little harley collar on, a little bone, and a few cards titled "to rick" and one titled, "to my daddy". i was amazed. everybody was like, "what is it,show us". ilooked at laurie, oh my god, thank you. guess what the first thing out of her mouth was? "you didnt guess it you didnt guess it". WHAT! she swore i said its a beagle dog after i saw it, not when i was pulling the lid away. so everybody was passing the boy from table to table like an object at a country auction. everybody looking. then, just as i got him back, the manager came over and said, "sir, you cant have that dog in here". yes i know, it was a gift just now. i'll take him out now. she said before you do, can i hold him? yes sure i said. she picked him up and was gone faster than a jewel thief. i mean gone. she was taking bernie around table to table to let all the other women see him that didnt get to, and telling the whole story.
i had more women coming by the table and saying good bye to the beagle puppy than i can tell you. then more would come in, hear the story, and come see him. you woulda thought it was elvis presley or something in the box. oh, the to my daddy card. it was from the beagle of course. and at the end was a P.S you wouldnt like the sound i would make if you threw me up in the air and let me hit the ground. lol. i still have the box, and the cards. his bone is still in there too. i'll keep it forever. but that, thats how i became a beagles dad.
gift guessing was the top of her list. but the 3 young boys though it was the coolest thing ever.
i was never wrong. i do mean never too. honestly, the kids looked forward to christmas for an extra reason every year, ricks gift guessing. i must say, they bought me gifts just to try to throw me off too. it was a game we would play. so lets forward to feb. im a fisherman ok. its in my blood plain and simple. so it was about feb 11th one yr. i had called my ex up and told her i was coming over to take the kids fishing."oh no your not" was her reply. i asked "what did i do now".
nothing she said but your valentines present is here and you cant come over. big freakin deal, i said, put it up, were're going fishing.oh man, i shoulda known not to reply like that. so after a few minutes of what sounded like a chain saw buzzing, she calmed down and agreed to bring the kids to me. now my mind was really working over time. "what in the world could she possibly have, that cant be put away,as to where i can come over". it was killin me. so, the first thing out of the kids mouths when she pulled up was, can ya guess it can ya guess it?i honestly had no clue. so there were rules to the game. i could ask if it were made of paper,metal,wood,or plastic. i mean thats fair right. so i asked. before the first word came out of any of the kids mouths, momma had laid out a highly motovational threat to the kids to keep their lips zipped.
all the bribery in the world couldnt undo one of her threats. so over the next day or so, the kids would call and ask me if i had guessed the present yet. again i asked, paper,wood,metal,plastic? no dice this time, they werent talkin. i had remembered a float tube(little tube fishermen get in to float down river to fish with) that i was about to die over, and the salesman promised me a good deal on.
ding ding ding! i was good. thats it i thought. ok, the kids were breaking the rules and not giving the traditional hints(paper,metal,ect) so i was gonna cheat too. i called up the store and asked for the salesman. he remembered me and assured me she came and bought the float tube a few days ago. oh yeah! OH YEAH! i felt guilty for all of about 2 minutes for cheating. so it was late feb 13th, we were at dinner. the kids were all about me guessing my present. it was strange cause they were overly excited about this. so again "paper,metal,wood ect". again no answers. but i already knew what it was and i had to play it off. god that just killed me too. so i tossed them a new question,one that i never have asked before. "if i toss it up in the air, what sound will it make when it hits the ground" i asked?
you blow up a float tube, and it would make a sound kinda like a basket ball hitting the ground, but not as heavy. the kids looked at eachother and just laughed, but wouldnt give in.
momma just had this look on her face like "oh you'll never guess this one". lord knows i just wanted to bust that bubble.ok, its feb14th. i get a call at work, i was told happy valentines day, and that my lunch was gonna be at olive garden.
i was told to tell my boss that i was gonna be a little late coming back from luch too. she promised that i would want to spend some time alone with her. now i gotta tell ya, laurie was the finest looking woman i had ever laid eyes on, and when she got dressed to impress, wow! i was expecting..... well, you know. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif
so i was told to meet her at olive garden, and she wasnt gonna stop unless i was seated at the table. ok i said. so as i walked in olive garden, the girl seated me at a table picked out just for me. so im setting there waiting. i see laurie pull up, look in to see if i was seated or not, then pull in to park. im like dear lord, whats the big deal, just get in here and lets eat.
so here she comes with this big box,balloons,and a camera. big smile on here face too. god lord, now everybody is looking and im kinda shy ok. and she wasnt dressed like i had pictured her to look either. i felt suckered. so she lets out a happy valentines day, puts the big box on the table and jumps back with the camera to her eye. i said laurie, im not opening up a float tube here in the middle of olive garden. 1, its just not the time and place. 2nd everybody is looking big time too. she quickly put her hand on the box and said,"rick, ya gotta open it right now,its important". then it came from every freakin table in view, "open it". oh come on, we want to see too. yadda yadda yadda. not good for a shy person like me ok. so,i said ok laurie after we eat. NO, NOW! ok ok ok. so i picked up this big red box. it was way to lite for a float tube. my mind was blown! i was tricked! these last few days of being excited were in vain! i had been out smarted! that salesman was in on it too! how did she know i was gonna call him! you coulda heard a pin drop in that place. my mind was racing to give it my best guess fast. i had my reputation. ive guessed everything for yrs now. here it was, my reputation on the line and i was out of ideas.
all this in the matter of seconds folks. i was panicing.as i was lifting the lid, an idea rushed into my head so quick it hurt. i spit out my guess as i was pulling the lid away, "ITS A BEAGLE DOG"! there he set,6weeks plus old. had a little harley collar on, a little bone, and a few cards titled "to rick" and one titled, "to my daddy". i was amazed. everybody was like, "what is it,show us". ilooked at laurie, oh my god, thank you. guess what the first thing out of her mouth was? "you didnt guess it you didnt guess it". WHAT! she swore i said its a beagle dog after i saw it, not when i was pulling the lid away. so everybody was passing the boy from table to table like an object at a country auction. everybody looking. then, just as i got him back, the manager came over and said, "sir, you cant have that dog in here". yes i know, it was a gift just now. i'll take him out now. she said before you do, can i hold him? yes sure i said. she picked him up and was gone faster than a jewel thief. i mean gone. she was taking bernie around table to table to let all the other women see him that didnt get to, and telling the whole story.
i had more women coming by the table and saying good bye to the beagle puppy than i can tell you. then more would come in, hear the story, and come see him. you woulda thought it was elvis presley or something in the box. oh, the to my daddy card. it was from the beagle of course. and at the end was a P.S you wouldnt like the sound i would make if you threw me up in the air and let me hit the ground. lol. i still have the box, and the cards. his bone is still in there too. i'll keep it forever. but that, thats how i became a beagles dad.
