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Old 04-29-2008, 08:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default He's gone

He was put to sleep this afternoon and I feel more awful than I thought. It didn't go as I planned because I wanted them to give him a sedative before putting him to sleep so I could have some quiet time with him but the sedative gave him a bad reaction and made him very uneasy, excited and uncomfortably stiff. I feel awful that I decided to give him a sedative and feel terribly guilty. I wanted him feel peaceful before he left. Anyhow I stayed throughout the whole thing and it was the hardest thing I've had to witness. Right now I'm just trying to forgive myself for asking them to give him a sedative since they only gave the final shot which would have been like 2 seconds. I hope he forgives me and doesn't remember any of this when I see him again. I miss him sooo much already.

I just need some support that he won't hold this against me (I know it sounds ridiculous) but I'm just having all kinds of irrational thoughts right now.
"Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you, I loved you so...'Twas Heaven here with you." -Isla Richardson
Rest in peace my Marco - 1/4/08-4/29/08
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh I wish I could just give you a big hug. Please don't feel bad about the sedative. You didn't know, and Marco isn't going to hold anything against you. You gave him a loving home, and did everything that you could to keep him comfortable. He will still be waiting for you at the bridge when the time comes for you to meet again.
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Don't feel that way, he knows that you did everything you could for him. We all know and feel that. You couldn't have predicted that this would be the reaction to the sedative.

little Marco.

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Old 04-29-2008, 08:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Your little Marco is at peace now - no more pain - I know what you're feeling - because I've had to make that decision several times in the past 10 years - it doesn't get any easier! Just know that your baby boy will greet you at the Rainbow Bridge. You did the kindest thing for HIM - he wouldn't have had a good quality of life. I wish I could give you a big hug right now! I know you don't want to hear this - but honestly, the best way to heal is to get another dog - not to replace Marco, each one makes his/her own special place in your heart - when my daughter had to have her Cody PTS several years ago, she said, "I don't EVER want another dog, it hurts too much to lose them" - I waited a couple of months then gave her a beagle puppy for her birthday. She has said so many times that she's so glad she has Buster - he helped her heal. Cody will always live in her heart - as Marco will live in yours. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had "Honey" (lab/shepherd) when I lost my beautiful keeshond, Sasha at the age of 14!

You'll know when you're ready! In the meantime, my heart is with you.
We've been sniffed!
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Old 04-29-2008, 09:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I am so sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. We can only do our best. All of your decisions were made with love for Marco and he will greet you with love someday. I will be thinking of you.
Connie and Maggie
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Old 04-29-2008, 09:46 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I had to put my very special best dog ever to sleep last year - it was so heart wrenching. But as horrible as I felt, and as many times as I second guessed myself afterwards, deep down I knew that I did the best thing for her.

You did the most loving and selfless thing for Marco. Please know that, and please know that he did feel peaceful at the time he needed to. He was lucky to have you as his mom.
~ Children are for people who can't have dogs.
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Old 04-29-2008, 10:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I am so so sorry. I am glad it is over for you and Marco. I would have definitely done the same thing as you. When we had our first beloved Beagle put to sleep we had the sedative done too first. I'm sure he didn't know any of it. He is now running happily and healthy and much better off.

You are a brave wonderful person.
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Old 04-29-2008, 10:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You and little Marco have been in my thoughts and prayers all day. Please don't beat yourself up about the sedative - so easy for me to say but I know I would be doing the same. You had no way of knowing what the sedative would do - how Marco would react. When I had my little Oreo PTS a little over a year ago, the vet did the same thing but Oreo was much older than Marco I believe Marco can hear what you are thinking - I truly believe that Marco knows you did what you felt was best for him. And I agree with Glenda - when you are ready, another dog will help you heal. No, another dog will NEVER replace Marco nor should you get a dog just hoping that it will. Rather, I believe that when you get another dog after you have lost one - the new dog is a way to honor the one that was lost. Marco taught you how to love and care about a dog and now you want to continue that love and caring for another.

I wish you were here - I would give you a big hug. You are a wonderful and caring person - when you took Marco to the vet today, you knew what lay ahead but for his sake, not yours, you went through with one of the most difficult choices a doggy mom/dad ever has to make.

Remember, Marco will forever be with you - just look in your heart - little Marco is now your guardian angel - running and playing forever at the Rainbow Bridge - and yes, he will be there to greet you when it is time.
Kim'n the Beaglebratz

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Old 04-30-2008, 02:31 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I have been thinking about you and Marco all day. You loved him more than anyone else could of and he knows that. All of the earthly pains are gone now and all he remembers were all the good times you had together and how much you loved him. Just know that you made the right decision, all the right decisions. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
"Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole"
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Old 04-30-2008, 08:36 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Believe me, he still loves you.

There a very few words (if any) that might comfort you at this moment. Know that you did everything you could for him. Sometimes the best of intentions do not go as hoped. This is not your fault. Just know that he is no longer in pain and that you did the right thing. Never second guess that. I would have done the same thing. It is the last act of love we can give our little ones, its also the hardest thing we have to do for them.

When you think of him, think of the happy, playful Marco. That is how he should be remembered.
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