Baby Changed My Life
Not sure if it’s appropriate to post about mental illness here but I just wanted to share what my beagle has done for me. I was looking back through the pics on my phone. This is really embarrassing and humbling but I want to share:
I’ve lived with depression for practically my whole life. I’m also not a naturally neat and tidy person so when I’m going through a rough time, keeping my apartment clean is the last thing on my mind and like I said, it’s extremely embarrassing for me. It becomes a vicious cycle because the shame feeds into the depression which makes it that much harder to pull together the motivation to clean. Add to that, chronic pain and fatigue and... well, yea. Which brings me to these pictures...
I just stumbled upon the first one, taken before we added our beagle puppy, Perrin, to the family. What you can see around the cat is pretty much what the entire apartment looked like. DH & I had been considering a dog for a while and all of a sudden we were facing a pretty unexpected now-or-never deadline (another story for another time). But I knew I couldn’t subject a baby pupper to those living conditions! I had to prove I could keep him safe and healthy. It was HARD but I managed to get our living room clean and puppy-proof so we could bring Perrin home 😄
Part of my mental illness is that I have trouble not shutting down when I get overwhelmed. I really struggle with breaking down huge tasks- cleaning an entire messy apartment- into manageable ones. But with Perrin, I’m so busy that I only have small time increments. Knowing that I only have an hour or 30 minutes makes the struggle so much easier! And it’s not just the cleaning, having him has started a new cycle where I stay on a schedule, get regular exercise on walks, go outside when all I want to do is lie in bed or on the couch. Instead of “depression->bad lifestyle choices->worse-depression” it’s “positive lifestyle changes->improving depression->more positive lifestyle changes”!!!
And of course, with Perrin being a beagle, he’s especially loyal and I know I have a lifetime of love to look forward to <3 He’s a ridiculously silly goofball and makes me laugh everyday. It sounds so cheesy but he kinda didn’t just change my life, he saved it!