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Old 07-16-2010, 05:44 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default 2) Miracle grow.

Looking forward to the dog show on Sunday and flaunting our gorgeous little hound. As an aside, I did notice this over the last two days....

We’re not horticulturists really my husband and I. Our garden is more Sahara than Chelsea and the plant life has a sort of post-apocalyptical look to it but there is one plant that seems to have taken a sudden growth spurt. Where once there was a fairly meek, spindly looking shoot, there is now a distinctly thicker, healthier chilli plant. It’s evolved from lack lustre to luscious in just a few weeks. The question is why. We live in damp England and we’re enjoying the usual pendulum-like summer weather that swings from blisteringly warm to wintry cold on the hour each day. We’re certainly more chilly than chilli. So how was this chilli plant suddenly thriving in our erratic British climate?

This would have remained a mystery had I not caught sight of the pesky little beagle out there early yesterday morning and again today and I counted only three paws on the ground. The fourth leg was stretched haughtily into the air in a ballerina pose whilst the telling amber stream arced with impressive precision into the centre of the pot.

Mystery solved. Case closed.

The only question that remains is whether to tell the husband who has been painstakingly nurturing his seeds into life and wondered why oh why they weren’t growing well. Having moved them “into more direct sunlight” he commented on the sudden and vast improvement and his little face has been the picture of pride. Should I let him believe in his gardening know-how and decision-making skills or spill the truth and dash his confidence? There is the argument that it does no harm to the plant and won’t actually affect the health of the consumer but in my mind now, every little chloroplast or mitochondrion will be saturated with the pee pee of Monty. Each miniscule membrane is passing his water so to speak.

What a dilemma. I’ll be holding back on the spicy food for a little while I think.

Last edited by MontyBeagle; 07-23-2010 at 09:50 AM.
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Old 07-21-2010, 07:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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haha cute!
Does he have magic-grow pee or something? I have huge spots of dead grass where Seamus pees daily, multiple times per day.
Maybe England's water is better than Americas, and passes differently through the doggie system Does your husband have special soil in the plant? Maybe it's reacting really well to the pee! You should paten it!!
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Old 07-23-2010, 04:22 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Haha! Wouldn't that be great? I can see it now next to the bottles of Miracle Grow and Tommarite, a neon green bulbous bottle of Monty pee- could call it Ureach (a tenuous mix of urine and you reach for the sky!) Oh dear.... think my morning coffee was a little on the strong side today! Talking nonsense..

Should really confess that we're going through the usual parched dry summer so I think any liquid that was bestowed upon the plant was going to have an effect.
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Old 07-23-2010, 06:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I could see the commercial now....camera pans to some wilted plants and from the side comes monty running ears flopping about as he stops lifts his leg does his business and runs off and the camera cuts out and back in to the next morning where the plants have doubled in size and there sits monty chewing on a bottle of Ureach while someone talks about how the Ureach product is all natural and environmentally safe lol.
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Old 07-24-2010, 01:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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LOL! Thats great.

"Ureach. Natures new miracle"
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